


set yourself off the night

by lilcyriel



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, basically obito's thoughts and anxiety, idk what even is this, kinda word play, pretty self-indulgent, we love synonyms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23835769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilcyriel/pseuds/lilcyriel
Summary: Maybe, he could give this a chance. Deidara had bared himself for him long time ago, why doesn't he do the same? Everything aside, it would be unfair. To have someone opened their pages way too far while the other kept their chapters buried. He doesn't want to betray him like that, he can't.Deidara's looking down at him with a smile plastered on his face, running his fingers on Obito's hair. "Tell me?"
Relationships: Deidara/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	set yourself off the night

**Author's Note:**

> uh, hello.  
> i'm pretty new to this pairing and this is the first piece i've ever written about them. and this is created out of boredom and also published out of it too.  
> i just wanted to pour what's probably going on obito's mind, his own monologue where he's faced with the situation of opening up to someone.  
> enjoy. (^^)

A soft voice left the younger's mouth, a little bit like a whisper. "Tell me?"

Obito hums. "What do I have to offer for your interest?"

"Anything, literally." He said with a hint of a chuckle, filling the room with the sweet of his timbre. "You acted like an open book yet subtler than the wind, there's plenty of things I want to know about you."

He sighs. Deidara continues to run his fingers, tangling it into his locks and letting it go only to rub the back of his hand and playing with it again.

The comfort runs through him, the dimmed lights, the softness from their futon and the warm radiating from the thighs placed beneath his head certainly doing things to him. Obito never felt at such ease before, he's feeling as if he's afloat. Yet something on his mind stayed; pulling him down to the ground as wariness starts creeping into him again.

But then he felt a tug on his hair again. Obito opens his eyes, looking at Deidara directly. Having the younger looming over him with his hair down like that, Obito could say that the blonde haired man is stunning. No, scratch that. Deidara sure is something, and the words stunning, gorgeous, or alluring that pops on his mind are mere underestimation to the view above him. He got distracted again. How great.

"Don't wanna, hm?" he grins. "As I said before, stop thinking."

Now Obito feels a finger stroking his jaw. "It'll lead us nowhere."

"Can't help to." he mumbles, closing his eyes again. In other circumstances, he would easily fall asleep. The comfort is too much its overwhelming. He can get used to this. Hell, he'd do anything to do this all over. He might have lost his mind.

But he can't. Not when he's baring himself like that; like this.

He has never been vulnerable for the last decade; 16, or maybe 17 years to be exact. He kept things intact, never giving away too many it became granted, never keeping away too tight it became suffocating. He got it right. He made sure he got everything right. He will make everything right.

Yet he's carried away, didn't realize how he had let some things loose from his grasp ever since the exact same person making him less the person he is but more the person he used to be. Maybe someone new; or somebody sitting in between. He's not sure.

It's been a while since he's unsure of something too.

Deidara is surely making him feel again, nothing but everything at all once. Every single one out there. Joy. Ease. Comfort. Freedom. Trust. Belonging. Fear.

"Don't trust me that much?" the tip of his lip uplifted, he continues. "You can tell me anything, you know."

The silence that enveloped them isn't all unpleasant, but he doesn't want to keep him waiting. He's been silent for too long, as second spent with him could easily be extended as eternity. "Can you trust yourself?"

Deidara chuckles. He can feel the rumble from his stomach. "Why can't I?" he asked.

Does Obito know a thing about trust? He barely has any idea. He's determined he knows exactly what it is to trust someone and to be trusted, but does he really do?

Can he play trick such like trust in this ground; what they're playing, what they're having? He can't predict anything. Like Deidara said about him, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, is something out of your grasp. Uncontrollable. Seems transparent but actually quite tricky.

He can't let himself lose. But lose to what?

He'll lose something if he lose. If there's something as low as losing and winning, then he can be a little bit certain.

But he can't. In the end, if he won, what will he gain anyway?

And against what he's competing? To won, or to lose? His own pride? His uncertainty? His possessive way of maintaining his possession? His fragile self?

His fear of losing something dearest to him all over again?

"You're thinking again, hm." he hears the voice that came out from the man that had been occupying his mind lately, trying to pull him from the pit of his own thoughts. "Don't."

What is he asking? Why doesn't he just give in?

Why is Obito unsure?

He opens his eyes, for the God knows how many times that night. He looked at him, peering from his eyelashes. Deidara is looking at him rather fondly than expectantly, like he's asking but not protruding. He's smiling. Blinding. Also reassuring. Understanding. 

Maybe, just maybe, he could give this a chance. Deidara had bared himself for him long time ago, why doesn't he do the same? Everything aside, it would be unfair. To have someone opened their pages way too far while the other kept their chapters buried. He doesn't want to betray him like that, he can't.

He's far too deep anyway to pretend he's on the surface. He can't find the ground as he's being pulled into the abyss.

He can't escape. He doesn't want to.

Obito feels like he's about to tear his chest open and bare his ribcage, let the blood splatter everywhere as he shows every damned piece of him that Deidara urges to learn. If the man himself wants to know, who is he to hold him back?

He doesn't want to hold him back, he realizes. It's dangerous, he is. It's ecstatic. It's menacing. It's euphoric.

Obito loved it, he admits. He loved the man above him so much it's unreal, he can't even understand. But he admits it.

Obito opens his mouth, but no declaration nor confession comes out from it. But another one—no less compelling, "Ask."

Deidara quirked his eyebrow, though Obito can't see it.

"I'm not good with words, nor I'm a storyteller." Obito lifts his hand to catch Deidara's hand thats not preoccupied with his hair. "I don't know where or what to start."

"So ask. Ask me everything you want to know, as I would answer you everything." he brings the hand to his mouth, giving it a light kiss on the back.

Looking at him, Obito smiled. "I won't hide anything anymore. Just ask."

Deidara grins, giving his hair a little tug. At the brief second Obito could feel it, the universe slowly aligning itself to the point he felt like this is just right, he couldn't ask for anything more than the moment to never stop, than the time to give them mercy. He could have this. He could let himself fully in.

𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺, maybe? If he lets him be.

Deidara seemed to consider himself for a second, looking at the ceiling with a frown on his face. Obito wants to run his rough fingers on his cheeks. "So," he finally looks at him again. Obito waits.

"What's your favorite color?" he asked.

It caught him off guard he's laughing out loud. All the hesitation crumbling down like a sandcastle being destroyed by the waves. He answered anyway.

"Orange."

**Author's Note:**

> so, how is it?  
> it probably is so bland and kind of confusing, forgive me. i'm trying to write something that is not so stiff, i guess i should continue to try.  
> also please pardon my bad characterization of them two. (+my bad grammar)  
> thanks for reading this shitty work.  
> mind to leave a comment? i'll highly appreciate it! ♡


End file.
